I have spent my whole life trying to be part of something. I had an alcoholic mom, a distant dad, we moved every year, then I was stuck in a house with just my mom, then I got married to someone who wanted me to be at home but didn't want to be too close. Now I am alone and honestly can't think of a way I could try and join a group - there are none left except just being me under god's sky with the rest of the world. I have been trying to avoid standing here for a long time.