((Hugs)) i wouldn't wish dysphoria on anyone. Since I've been so "up" I'm afraid it will bite me and turn into this though. That's usually my pattern before the crash. I take risperdal for my dysphoria and I haven't had it in awhile. It's a godsend for me! Just a heads up, lamictal triggered my dysphoria big time! Every time I'd titrated up a dose, I got it for a few days. It was absolutely hell. I went off and said horrible things to people. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. (But in my defense, one of these people did deserve it lol). If you're not comfortable with this pdoc then can you easily find a new one? The relationship with your mental health team is so important. I've told my pdoc office quite a few times "I need a new one NOW!" As far as hospitalization, I'm not sure what insurance you have but I would look into Medicaid to help. When I was hospitalized without insurance, they would send a social worker to meet with me and they got me on a temporary plan at least to help pay. Good luck and stay strong. Hope you feel better soon!

Edit: that's a bummer that geodon isn't working for you! That was going to be my next suggestion for a sleep med. Well back to the drawing board! Lol

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