Aside from any TMI, another angle occured to me in reading your story. You say he is in his late seventies. Maybe he has personal fears of dementia. That maybe he will have to deal with a similar situation and fears how he would handle it. Or fear of BEING on the other side if it.

Which is to say it's possible there are factors from his end of it, so try not to beat yourself up too badly. Your focus right now should be getting help for yourself. Then you will be better equipped to sort through this. Right? Right.

Btw, it's good to see you again Tucson, despite the circumstances.

(Ahhhh, Lefty -- excellent advice and laughs to boot. Gotta love it. )