Mine was following my sister's death. The pain of loss for me, for my family, was overwhelming, and that was under circumstances completely related to health and somewhat predictable. I realized in that pain that I could never put my family through the trauma a death by suicide. If the pain of my sister's predictable, understandable, "normal" death was so traumatic, I can only imagine the long-lasting trauma and horrible legacy a death by suicide would cause.

I took it off the plate. It completely became a non-option. That decision was the real beginning of my future as a rather stable, healthy, content woman.