I developed a crush on a male therapist I had been seeing for about 4 years who thought erotic transference interfered with therapy. He refused to even discuss my feelings and went so far as to prop a big picture of his wife on his desk during my sessions (I suspect it went back in the drawer when I left) and even took down a Georgia O'Keefe print that was hanging in his office (lol.).

His reaction was terribly hurtful to me, and I spent the last 6 months of therapy crying over it. He was not the least sympathetic. I finally stopped therapy because I couldn't deal with the feelings of rejection that so mirrored earlier relationships.

What I found really confusing was that he was pretty flirtatious up to the point where I started feeling this erotic transference, then withdrew completely. I don't think this was my imagination, and there was nothing overtyly sexual in the content, but it still seemed like being lead on and then rejected.

Now I have a female therapist who is primarily into CBT and doesn't really want to discuss past relationships. Is this something I need therapy to get over (it's been 6 years already), or should I just let it go? Maybe his therapeutic orientation or training or personal shortcomings interfered? Maybe it wasn't just my fault?

I know one thing. I envy those of you who have a loving relationship with your therapists, and whose affection is reciprocated. I don't think I'll ever be able to take that kind of risk again.