I agree with the post that says that you have to get support around you. Even though you may feel overwhelmed and change will not happen overnight, you must try and get support. Also, you have to get a better paying job or a second job to supplement your income. So many women are miserable because they are not financially independent! They let their husbands rule their financial future because that's how they've been taught. The thing is, whoever controls the purse strings, controls your destiny. The thing is asserting yourself and taking care of yourself is probably not going to get you cheers from your husband. He wants things to stay the same because he is benefiting from the situation. If you don't want to leave and you feel that you have to stay, at least get yourself financially independent within the marriage. And don't give him the money! If he is not functioning for the good of both of you, then don't depend on him. Change is scary. It means giving up old patterns and having people not like you because the old you made them comfortable. It also means sacrificing things that made you comfortable. There is no easy way and you can't have it both ways. It sounds like you are unhappy and beating your head against a wall hoping that the wall will come down. Time to take care of yourself. Life is too short.