Phil, I know how you feel. I've wondered the same thing myself but have really come to believe that it has nothing to do with God hating me. All people have their burdens to face and at times, they can seem unbearable. You're more than your mental illness and while it sometimes has us all by the throat, we can be ok again. Hang in there.

Chocolatelover, I try to find the "gift" in my MI as well. I wonder if I would be as empathetic and compassionate of others who suffer if I had not felt such pain myself. While the journey can be very arduous and onerous, I'm grateful for the gift - it has provided the impetus to learn, grow and be mindful......

Blessings to you all on your journey. Etheria