PS Kind of off topic, but I ordered a book on radical self love/acceptance today. I realized that I am pretty hard on myself and, until I actually accept myself (and maybe even start radically accepting that things don't always go my way), I'm not going to have happiness in my life. I will definitely work on this with my T. I want to stop being negative and looking at the world though a gray fog, but I don't really know what this looks like. People think I'm super negative, and honestly I don't see my viewpoint as negative. For me, this is just reality. I have a friend who says that when things go wrong I "hardcore focus on the negative," and I can see that. But my issue with her is that, to me, her version of happy-go-lucky optimism is delusional. (I'm not going to get into it, but it is...some of it has landed her in a partial hospitalization program.) So what's better? Mentally preparing yourself and only making a hard landing when reality hits, but people think you're kind of a drag, or deluding yourself and emotionally crashing and burning when reality hits, but everyone thinks you're a GD blast? Idk.