"im scared to die, but im also scared to live. I feel like all I can be is here..in the middle of everything and there is nothing left to do except be here. i was thinking about this lastnight and im so sick of this. apparently this will never end. does anyone else feel like this? " Yes, I have a feeling lots of us either are experiencing it now, or have. You're not alone. That "nothingness" is such an awful place to be. I would recommend that you do find a doc - preferrably a therapist - who understands and can help you navigate through this painful, uneasy time. We're here for you too. Hang in and take good care of you. Blessings, Etheria