From Sweet Crusader:
"I had an uncle who came on to me and seems to have fondled me while I was asleep (but if he did fondle me, I don't remember it)."

How do you know he fondled you, if you don't remember it?

The last time DH and I had sex, I had a panic attack when he did a certain thing to me. So I don't know if that is what happened, maybe that's what someone else did to me when I was a kid? I don't know, but it felt really weird and it embarrassed me for some reason.

I also don't know if that was just a coincodence due to stress or because I've been worrying about this.

I had an appt. with a therapist last week, and will see her once a week from now on. I will also see the psychiatrist there from now on, but I can't get in to see him until Nov. 30th, which was the earliest he had available.

When the therapist was doing the intake questions, I felt horrible for how many questions I answered 'Yes' to. It was embarrassing to admit to so much and have someone else know of all the problems I have.

She asked if I'd ever had a panic attack, and when I told her I recently had one during sex, she looked at me weird. She didn't say anything, but she looked at me like it surprised her and then wrote my response down and moved on to the next question. So I don't know what that was about, and I didn't care to ask her.

I'm going into this whole therapy thing almost like I don't want to talk about certain things with her. IF there is a past of sexual abuse, I'm not sure I want to know because of the feeling I get when I think about it. It's in the pit of my stomach and makes me want to vomit at the thought of the possibility. And with what my husband did during sex, I got the same feeling. I wanted to vomit, it was bad.

yuck!