Wow, I'm so sorry for you mf1438. I can relate; I was also raised in a strict religious household and was told that masturbation was an abhorrent "sin." But I refused to accept that at all, because it was a source of pleasure and happiness for me in a time when everything else was pain and cruelty. And it hurt NOBODY. I had tremendous guilt about it growing up, even though I did it several times a week. I felt so "unworthy" or "unclean" when I went to church. Yet I kept doing it and lied through my teeth whenever I was asked -- and I WAS asked, in really uncomfortable "worthiness" interviews with so-called religious "authorities."

But in my 20's I actually started to question all those crazy beliefs that I was indoctrinated with. And after a lot of serious study and contemplation, I finally decided that it was all BS. And you know what? Almost immediately I felt COMFORTABLE with my body, my sexuality and my masturbation habits. It was such a wonderful feeling! Maybe it was just because I never really internalized the religious BS in the first place... But letting it all go was SO FREEING!

I don't know if you're still chained to your old religion, or if it just haunts you. But I really hope you can come to terms with the abuse in your past. And make no mistake: RELIGIOUS INDOCTRINATION IS CHILD ABUSE! Especially when you tell a child that they'll go to hell and suffer forever if they do this, this and this. I just really wish more people would open their eyes and accept it, instead of defending their idiotic beliefs to the bitter end.

**** religion. Be comfortable with yourself!