Quote:
Originally Posted by kkrrhh
She constantly cancels plans, she absolutely can not be depended on. Even if plans are made ahead of time, she'll end up drunk or badly hungover too often (or sometimes just cancels them even if sober), it doesn't feel like she's there for me because I can never know when I'll be able to get ahold of her and when I'll end up waiting days for a reply and half-*** explanation, whereas I'm always there for her. I also feel sometimes like she uses her alcoholism as a catch all and an excuse for anything and everything she ever does wrong.
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This part really stood out to me.
I think she needs help, but she has to truly want it in order for it to work. I agree that it doesn't sound like she truly wants to get help, especially with a failed attempt at rehab.
Understand that there's only so much you can do for a person. You can try to help them as much as you want, but if they don't want to get better, what can you do? It's a tough situation to be in, but it sounds like you're wasting your breath with her.
I think I agree with your 1/2 dozen friends who say "ditch her". You gave it an honest effort and you did everything you could to help her, but she doesn't want change or isn't ready for it.
An intervention may help, but again, what if she doesn't want to change? Then you're back to square one. You have to ask yourself how many times you're going to try helping her. (I'm not saying you SHOULDN'T help her. I'm saying that you might be going in circles with her and wasting your breath.)
I understand it's sad and tough to lose a friend like this, because you want to help them, but sometimes you have to do what's right for you and right for your friend.
Edit:
Like OceanSwimmer said, you're probably better off getting closer to your 1/2 dozen friends.