I have a therapy acct separate from our joint acct, and he has his poker acct. He just tends to use his up and then has to wait til it builds up again, while my use is scheduled so he sees me going to therapy more than he plays poker, so he feels cheated i guess even though he can blow thru $300 in one evening. That's 3 appts for me. I don't know. Maybe he resents me growing or something. I ask him from time to time to go to couples therapy but he refuses. Sometimes i wish I'd never gotten married. I believe in us though and want to figure this out i just don't know how to talk with him about it without crying and clamming up. T and i will be working on this next 2 sessions and then i will practice on my break. Maybe he can't change but i sure can and maybe if i can get past my fear of telling him a lot of this stuff then we can work it out. But I'm not quitting therapy until I'm ready to. I promise myself that.

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