You are doing great, and kudos for your sensitivity and honesty. It sounds like she is a great fit for you, and I understand how that may make you feel concern that you may somehow push her away. By all means you should respectfully challenge comments she may make that don't sit comfortably with you, in fact she might really appreciate your focus on clarity. I would suggest you tell her more or less exactly your fears as you have written here, of feeling misunderstood, too problematic, etc. From how you describe her she will respond with reassurance and sensitivity.
As far as pronouns go, I understand how important it is to you and I have no doubt that her lapses are completely accidental, most of us have done it, the usage has not been in our brains long enough yet. What if you simply request that she refer to you by name? Good luck, and again, you're doing great. Let us know how it goes.