When I was in my 20's I lost a ton of weight (mostly because of struggling in my career and not having much money, but also taking ballet lessons which totally warps one's ideas about one's body and food) and I got super thin. I felt androgynous and I really liked that feeling. That is the closest I came to the weird empowerment an eating disorder can provoke. I liked floating somewhere between masculine and feminine. I gained muscle and that further empowered me. But it is not healthy. It's an obsession. You have to make your goal being healthy and fit. Everything else, including your identity, will flow from that, I am sure.