Hi
I am in one relationship where I'm struggling with fear of losing a girlfriend.
She likes me, but my fear of abandonment is so easily triggered that it bothers me: when ever she talks about another guy or she looks away from me looking so interested in something that not includes me, I feel that I don't matter. She calls me to come to her room and when I'm there she can't let her mobile phone down. She gives me constant treatment that I don't matter. I stopped going out with her in public cause whenever her full attention is on someone else, I feel so frightened and lonely. I caught myself in making steps of getting away from her before she does that to me again and presses that button again.
Yesterday she noticed that and asked if I am waiting desperately for her to say to me 'Goodbye'. And yes, I told her that it feels like I'm having this thing called Fear of Abandonment and that it hasn't started with her, but a long ago.
Now I have a feeling that I placed a pressure onto her to constantly think if she would trigger this issue in me and also I think that I've already with that placed guilt onto her for even a possibility of leaving me cause she would hurt me a lot, just like someone in my past did.
Long story short... I don't know how to get to the root of this fear cause I'm starting to abandoning her first without the reason (a protective mechanism).
Should I let go of everything and be vulnerable 100% to this thing? How could I challenge this fear so I wouldn't be always at the edge of it, but more flexible?
Please any ideas cause this fear won't let me peaceful.