I'm sorry you guys are going through this, too. The hardest thing is that he honestly wants to help me, but just doesn't get that I need him to prioritize what's hard/triggering for me right now BEFORE his projects. I honestly just need those things DONE. And I can't wait for 4 hours or until tomorrow or Wednesday night, or whatever. If I see it and need to be in the space (especially with the kitchen - all day, every day!), I go into panic mode and can't function until it's done. If it's there, I'll do it because I just can't stand to ask him to. I figure, he sees it, and he would have done it if it was a priority for him. But then, when it's not done, I can't just stop at the dishes (which is what I need in order to wash hands, rinse produce, get a drink of water, cook a meal, etc.) - then I have to wash down all the counters, remove the stove grates and scrub the stovetop, wipe down the coffee station - I can't feel right until that's done.

I'm getting anxious right now just thinking about it, which is bizarre, because this morning he did it all before he left. I came out, and the only things in the kitchen/sink were my son's bowl & plate he had used after my husband left. So he gets it, or at least he did this morning - it's just more work than it's worth for me physically and emotionally to get him to understand what I need.

Anyhow - I can't tell you both how much I appreciate you not only reading that massive missive, but responding as well. It's encouraging just to know others are rowing in the same boat I am...