So this is my homework this week. Why I don't stand up for myself, at work, my step mom, my sister, etc. Not sure if I should put this here, under COA or under psychotherapy. I think the people in this group will understand.

At work: Afraid of not reacting correctly, afraid of over-reacting, afraid of being fired!

Step mom: when I was a child, afraid of being hit, afraid of disappointing her, afraid of her ignoring me, afraid I was over-reacting. Now: GOOD QUESTION. If I am being VERY honest, only that she will not give me my half some day when dad passes away.

Dad: Afraid of being wrong, afraid of disappointing him, afraid he will stop talking to me. Afraid he will dislike me is probably the biggest.

Sister: when I was young: afraid of physical confrontations. Now: afraid she will turn dad against me, she already tries. Afraid of physical confrontations.
Am I over-reacting.

I guess I am afraid that I am wrong, that I don't have the right to stand up, that the person addressing me is right and I don't have the right to defend myself cause I am wrong.

Make sense? It is hard to say now, since with my step mom, we have so little interaction these days, and it has been a very long time since there has been a really ugly situation. The last time I saw her, she came to town to help my sister while she recovered from surgery. She just came by one day to see my house renovations and go out to dinner. How did I feel? I was worried the whole time that she wouldn't like my house, that she would think I was fat since I have gained weight, that she wouldn't like my hair, whatever. This very heavy weight of fear, desperation, I don't know why.