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Great posts and great topic!
Just wanted to add that I even found catatonia to be an interesting experience. It is really an achievement to overcome it, while there seems absolutely no reason why it would be. Makes you feel strong (as well as weak).
But maybe I am just really crazy. Don't want to infect you when you just recovered, but I hope my showing of acceptance with BP does the opposite.
I agree you feel so much better when you are stable, leaving all that behind. The journey is a reward in itself when you're there.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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