Background: I was sexually abused by a family member at 5, physically abused from age 6-14 or 15, and physically and emotionally abused from 20-27. I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember, and was officially diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder when I was 18 and hospitalized for about 30 days, but not medicated.
When I was 21 or 22, I sought medication and am now 37 and have tried Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Celexa, Lamictal, and Zoloft, in various combinations and dosages, along with Klonopin and Ativan for my anxiety. For the last year and a half, I have been smoking marijuana, as well. I have 2 young children (5 and 3), and am a stay at home mom while my husband works 60-80 hour weeks as a software programmer. I am in therapy now, as well. I am exhausted, and in pain all day, every day, and can barely manage to keep my kitchen clean, let alone any other rooms of my house because of it. I look around and don't even know where to begin and know that it's never going to end, so I do nothing. Lately, I have realized that I am drowning in my responsibilities. I really don't know how to approach this with my Psychiatrist because I have been telling her that all is well for several visits, and I think that she will think I am faking for meds. Does anyone have any advice for me?