That could be the case. I have talked about not feeling like other women, and how I should be as a woman, what I should like, things like that. (And I already ranted about Amy from Gone Girl, which, the good thing is I brought it up at dinner with my gaming group and we started discussing all sorts of awesome villainesses, which was really fun) And having certain...I guess masculine traits. The closest I can think of in terms of masculine traits though is stuff I have in common with my dad -- anger problems, anxiety, height, sense of humor, etc. (Out of curiosity, what is embracing the feminine/masculine aspects of oneself? I've heard the theory, but I'd like to hear your take on it)

"Bad Wolf" is a Doctor Who reference. It's kind of one character's super-powerful side she taps into when she's trying to save the Doctor -- at the near-cost of her dying. (He saves her) So there's probably some sort of potential in me I have yet to unlock. In terms of something unmanageable and frightening, I'd say my anxiety feels that way, as does my OCD. I'd have these awful thoughts and have no idea if I was bad or something. So maybe it's a metaphor for me learning to understand my anxiety and OCD and cope with it. As for what set off the horse...it was basically another character at my horseback riding class (who does not attend my horseback riding class, so I think she's some sort of other facet or something I need to acknowledge) committing an act of



that set it off. And I calmed the horse down just by getting it out of there and into the stable. I don't think I'd ever seen the horse before in my life -- it was an all-black horse.

I guess I'm starting to doubt myself on certain things, what might have happened, and the more evidence that comes up, the more I wonder if I'm on the wrong track somehow. I hope I'm not on the wrong track, at least. (And honestly, your interpretations make a lot of sense the more I really think on them. I think it explains why I have the nightmares even though I do everything to make sure I don't have them -- there's issues I haven't really resolved)

In terms of the building -- well, I can remember that it looked a lot like a childhood friend's house that I didn't really see in quite some time (she's in college now. We met in pre-K and we were very close -- playing outside, using these journals back and forth to communicate so we could vent about things or talk about how stuff was going and offer support; it was sort of, I guess, a non-evil version of Tom Riddle's diary, I guess. XD And we just talked about things -- it was when we were younger, especially when I was in middle school). We also played video games, played outside, watched movies...it was a lot of fun, really, those times. My mom and her mom were also very good friends. Unfortunately, I haven't seen her in some time. A lot of my old friends seem to have different stuff going on, and I think starting in 2013 or earlier, I kind of withdrew from the world, maybe because of all the issues I had. So the dream is kind of me having to reach out to her. And I remember that in the dream, I was running through the house, exploring it, and it was later in that house I found the Tiptoe Man and such. Plus, other layers of the house led outside, where it was snowing.

No, my parents are not divorced or living apart. I think the living apart thing might be a metaphor, like I'm feeling more attached to my dad at times than my mom. (Which is definitely odd because our relationship at the moment...I wasn't really a Daddy's Girl from what I can remember. I was very close to my mother. Most of my memories of my dad involve him telling really groan-worthy "dad jokes" or us being at each other's throats. The most I remember as good parts of our relationship were in videos when I was little and now that I'm a young adult and we're more on kind of equal terms. I guess it doesn't help that we're pretty similar, personality-wise)

And I might be. The animals there took the form of cats and pug dogs -- in terms of my association with pugs, I remember some sort of blog on Tumblr that actually kind of gave me some useful information. And they could speak as well, which was unsettling -- I think that the Tiptoe Man was actually using that pug dog as a bit of a vessel, which made things scarier. I think the Tiptoe Man might have also said something about coming to get me or something and I think my dad might have actually been familiar with it. In terms of the issue



I feel like even if it wasn't the case, they're hiding something because their reactions get downright weird when I ask them, and I don't know if it's my anxiety talking or something else, but I feel like they're covering something up. It's just a feeling; I'm a bit suspicious. So maybe I should trust that feeling?

So maybe all this is actually some sort of anger at my father? It might be, actually.