While I didn't have a childhood like that, I honestly don't remember any kind of emotional connection with my mom as a kid. The things I do remember are her frustration at getting me to get up & her raking through my knotted hair in the mornings before school; yelling at me and my brothers when we fought; and her pure exhaustion all the time - anytime she sat down for a minute on the couch, she would go straight to sleep. By 7:30/8 at night, she was done for and hit the sack. I was a night owl, so we never really lined up in terms of when we were alert. The only other memories I really have of her are all tied up in her pushing me to perform in some way or other, so much that I learned to just do it on my own because that was the expectation. As an adult, I have no idea what to do with myself - I have no passions or interests that are my own, I believe because I spent my whole life trying to succeed at things that she and my dad wanted me to do.

So while I didn't have the struggles you clearly did, and I didn't feel 'used' by my mom at the time, I never felt emotionally connected to her, either. It's a little better now, living so far from her, but I still realize that our bond is there mostly when she's lonely - I feel like I'm an emotional convenience to her.