I'm trying to put off bedtime as long as possible, even though I'm exhausted. My sleep ritual the past month has been 1) get ready for bed, take pill that supposedly keeps nightmares at bay and puts me to sleep, 2) lie down and wait to sleep, then something - usually bad, occasionally good - crosses my mind and I cry about it, which makes me feel dreadful, 3) stop crying, toss and turn a couple hours, get up, have a glass of milk, go back to bed, and 4) fall asleep and have nightmares for a few hours, by which time it's time to get up.

I am really, really tired. I should probably not even be operating light machinery like the internet.