I don't even know what i feel anymore. I just have been sleeping way too much... I just feel numb and defeated. Showering takes so much effort.... I'm just existing. I want the pain to stop. I long to drink so i can escape or feel something. I eat because i know i'm supposed to, i sleep because i can and it doesn't get me into trouble with my family. Why do i feel this way right now? I feel as if I am watching my life through a filmy curtain.... here, but not really here. Don't know what to do anymore...