You have two separate problems. One is getting over your obsession with this guy. The other is finding a way to have hope that life holds the possibility of love and happiness for you. You are relating these two issues in a way that is not real logical.

Based on the added information you have given above about this guy, it sounds like he is a real loser. He's lost his driver's license due to drinking. This guy is not on the path to a great, successful, happy life. It is totally normal to want to see someone who has hurt you "get theirs." I'm the same way. But think about it, for a moment. This guy has control over what you know about him. You think he's going to tell you when his life hits the skids? No he's going to paint this grandiose picture of how hunky-dorey his life is, and you're not going to know that it isn't. So you'll be basing your understanding of how his life turns out on false information.

You think he has changed and that this new woman has changed him? That's actually pretty unlikely. But, again, he's painting this rosy picture about how great his life is going, and you're buying it wholesale. This new girlfriend has major problems, herself, or she wouldn't be hooked up with a loser like him.

Here's another thing you don't realize. Even if his life goes great - which it won't - he's going to have his ups and downs in any relationships he has in the future. Every couple has their spats and he and this new girlfriend will have theirs. But when she is ticked off at him, he is going to hop on the phone to you to hear about how wanted he is. You are his "fix." If Tom Cruise can get rejected, I'm sure this guy is going to have times of feeling rejected. But when someone makes him feel unwanted, he has you as his emotional safety net. He knows you're out there, pining away for him and he gets a certain amount of security from that. You will always be his proof that he is desirable. So he's not letting that go. He doesn't want you, but he wants to keep knowing that you want him. And you are giving him this gift of perpetual acceptance. So, in a way, you are preventing him from ever knowing the full pain of feeling unwanted. That's you really playing into his hands, and he is never going to let go of you. I guess I'm a lot nastier than you. If I were you, I would tell him that my life is going great and that I've been dating and having a wonderful time. There is an old saying: "Living well is the best revenge."