TBH it's that kind of thinking that made it hard for me to get help because I kept worrying that maybe I'm just faking for attention or I'm just being lazy.

It also made my self loathing worse because why can't I just get better? It took me awhile to admit that I have some problems but even then I doubt myself.

I also had to learn that there's nothing wrong about wanting attention. Monkeys, especially young ones, will try to get the attention of others, usually their moms. Even dogs want attention. We're social creatures so we want to feel included.