I see a lot of similarities between you and I. I'm going to tell you about what I've been through, and I hope it gives you some insight on what to do. Just remember you need to do what's best for you, and that I'm here to advise you since you're having trouble making a decision.

My dad has been abusive to me, almost for my entire life. He's only gotten physical once, so the majority of his abuse has been psychological. He calls me names, and makes threats...that sort of thing. Just as bad as physical abuse. Any kind of abuse though, it's unacceptable no matter what the situation or no matter how the victim acts. If you were misbehaving, your parents should deal with it in a healthier way, instead of resorting to violence or saying mean things.

But you are a legal adult now, so you have the right to make your own decisions and do what you want. I do feel that if you are living with your parents, you should respect them, but obviously living with them is toxic no matter what you do.

Anyways, I was in your position about 4 months ago. My boyfriend lives in Sweden, and he was the first person I ever told about my dad's abuse. My parents are divorced, and I would visit my mom 3 times a week. My mom and I get along but she neglected me as a kid, so that's still a problem.

Anyways, my boyfriend and I made a plan to get me out of there; my dad's house. My boyfriend was visiting for Christmas, so I would leave with him back to Sweden after New Year's. My mom knew about him and kept him a secret like I asked her to. Her and dad never speak so it would be okay.

The whole time when I was back at my dad's I was so worried about whether I was making the right decision or not. Did I bring this on myself? Is it my fault that my dad calls me names and threatens me? He did, after all, support me financially and I know he truly loves me, because he was with me all throughout my childhood raising me. The abuse didn't start until I was about 14, which is the point in my life when I wanted to make my own decisions. And the abuse got to it's worst point last year, between the ages of 19 and 20. I will be 21 in June.

After planning the escape with my boyfriend, I instantly felt guilt. Until the day my dad grabbed me and threw me around the living room. That's when I knew I had to get out, for my safety.

I'm not the nicest person either to my parents, and sometimes that makes me feel like I deserved all of it. But the thing is...No one deserves to be abused. Whether it's with violence or with words or both, no one deserves it.

So I left with my boyfriend in January. I feel so much safer being out of that environment, and I felt like I could finally live the life I always dreamed of. Being with my boyfriend and living in Europe has always been a dream of mine.

There's still a struggle though if you've been dealing with abuse for a long time. I started going to therapy since I have depression and PTSD because of what I've been through. It's helped, and my therapist has taught me a lot. The most important thing therapy has taught me so far is that victims of abuse are not alone. There are so many others out there who have been through the same things. And if there's anything I've learned from hiding the abuse for most of my life, it's even worse thinking that you're battling it alone.

About your job issue, what are your interests? Have you gone to college? I'm actually in the same boat as you, I've never had a job either. I play guitar and sing, and I can easily make money by going out and opening my guitar case and play a few tunes.

I'm still having some complications on my end, I have to go back to the US and there's a chance I'll end up homeless, but that's irrelevant to what we're discussing right now. I came here to live, to be free...but the government told me that being abused and trying to escape isn't a good enough reason to extend my stay to be able to get a work permit or apply for citizenship.

Anyways, what I think you should do is stay with your boyfriend. I know the change might be hard at first, but if you really want to get out of that abusive situation, I think it will be worth it. No one deserves to live in such a toxic environment, and any opportunity to get out of there is worth a shot.

Keep us updated! I hope what I have told you has helped.