I don't know what my baseline mood is. I've been so depressed for so long, then I normally jump into hypomania, then stable but moderately depressed, then suicidal depressed. I have no idea what a normal person's mood is.

I feel so good lately since I've been on the increased dose of Lamotrigine. And I can't figure out what is healthy. I mean, I feel awesome. I'm not manically cleaning. I have energy but not crazy energy. I feel like my mind is not racing but not slow.

Is this what it's like to have a normal mood? Or am I hypomanic and this will eventually fall to my moderately depressed state that I am mostly in?

Do normal people feel generally happy and pleasant? Is this what I've been missing for 25 years? Or is this just a short phase.

I don't expect anyone to have the answers, so I'm mostly thinking out loud (or writing out loud).

Then again, if this is normal and stable, do I know who I am if my bipolar is managed? I hope this is it, that this is my normal and my baseline. I will take medications until I die if I can feel this happy and stable. My husband and I even fought on Sunday and I didn't get out of control or angry.