The first statement is true about any professional, or really anyone in general. I don't know how to assess anyone's mental health, including my physician, my dentist, my lawyer, my acupuncturist, my accountant, etc. I am not trained in mental health evaluation or therapy, just like I'm not trained in any of those other professions.

What I am able to do is figure out whether the professional is helping me. I've experienced a T as not helpful and quit after 6 months, and about 4 others as helpful and had longish term relationships with them-- one that ended prematurely with the T's job change, and the others that I ended at a point where I was done with whatever I was done with. Last T relationship going on 6 years and it's still very helpful to me. I've had more mixed helpfulness from physicians (I have liked about 1 out of every 3 and have switched docs when that happens), both good and bad experiences with lawyers and dentists. Have only had 2 accountants but they've both been good. Had a number of acupuncturists and loved them all.

Point is, clients don't need to be trained to evaluate mental health symptoms in order to have a positive T experience. Just like with selecting any other helping professionals, clients are empowered to decide for themselves whether that person is helping them or not or what kind of treatment works for them. I don't believe that it's impossible for T clients to know what works and doesn't work for them. I think that all of us have an inner wisdom about what's right and what's not for us. There's no reason why choosing a T has to be cloaked with some kind of brush that makes it impossible to determine the bad from the good professionals.

It hasn't been my experience that therapy is completely one-sided, but I prefer somewhat limited self disclosure by therapists. I have learned from them when they do self disclose but I prefer to have the focus on myself. It has also been my experience that my therapists have been honest and straightforward with me, even when we have disagreed.

I've never had a T say "trust me," rather the opposite, where they acknowledge that it's smart not to trust them at whatever junction I've been. They have always made it seem rational to be suspicious or tentative or unwilling to disclose some things at some times. I have always felt in control of how much honesty I'm sharing at any given time, and I've been free to be dishonest and to later disclose that dishonesty or not. My current T has said more than once that the only person it's important to be honest with is myself.

I have no idea what you mean about T's "withholding" information that a client "needs to feel safe." If you are referencing the T's lack of personal disclosure, then I disagree that personal disclosure makes everyone feel safe as some kind of universal truth. That hasn't been my experience at all. Self disclosure by T doesn't relate to safety at all for me, and I've known people for whom too-disclosing T's have felt unsafe by said disclosure.

I have felt safe in T because my T's have listened, have demonstrated that they've heard me, have allowed me to develop my own sense of what I want and what I need, in and out of therapy. They've shown up for me when they said they would (timely and keep appointments except in emergencies), have remembered what I've told them often better than I do, are willing to discuss conflicts in a sane and open manner, and have treated me with kindness and respect. No darkness, just light opening up inside myself.

I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience in therapy. I believe it's possible that you can, if you want to try. Perfectly acceptable to stay off the therapy wagon, that is a valid choice for yourself. Not everyone wants to do so, however.