I'm not sure what is wrong with me

I was never depressed before, but there is a lot going on in my life that is stressing me out, but my entire life has been stress.....

I recently been self medicating, on and off pain pills, suboxone, meth, weed, alcohol.....

its the closest ive come to being a daily addict....

maybe I messed up my brain chemistry ?

ive been sober for about a week, minus a relapse on alcohol 3 days ago....

I went from being very motivated and high energy yesterday and day before, and then today I'm sad, feeling down, and been in bed all day.

I hope I'm not falling into a depression that lasts weeks or months.

I just started 3mg Risperdal march 3rd. before that I been on Xanax for a few months, and off other meds for about a year.