I'm relieved it's over with, yes.

It went the way I expected it would go, but I wasn't anticipating her being that mad at me! Jeez. I thought her head was going to explode. She was mad about the AP thing (I'm not on any right now by the way. I stood firm on that), and she wants me off lamictal and on depakote, and I did try weaning off lamictal like she wanted me to but it wasn't going well so I stopped (I called about that, but she wasn't in at the time and a different doctor put me back on lamictal), and she wanted to try taking me off lamictal again because she said it's not working for me anymore and I said no.

Then she really got mad and started launching my entire psychiatric history at me and how I don't have any insight into the severity of my situation. I thought she was going to start throwing fire at me! I was getting all warm and freaked out. She kept on insisting that if I don't go on a different AP I'm going to go psychotic again and end up in the hospital and then she asked me if I even wanted to be on meds because none are working and I'm on three anxiety meds and am still anxious, like it's my fault they're not working all the way right now or something.

The entire time she was angrily clacking away on her keyboard. I thought she was going to break it.

And finally she grudgingly increased my lamictal and buspirone doses.

And I forgot I'm still on a ninety day hold from my OD at the end of december and she said she's going to have to report to my social worker that I haven't been med compliant because of the depakote thing? I'm confused by that.

Sigh.

At least I'm not on seroquel now!

Time to really start looking for a new pdoc.