Please forgive me if I'm making this about myself or if it seems that I'm veering off topic.

In all honesty, I don't even think I feel depressed that often anymore. I've learned to harden my sadness into hatred against those who've hurt me. Either way, these emotions dominate every day of my life. Not a single day goes by that isn't absolutely ruined by something that reminds me of a past traumatic event. My own mind holds my soul at gunpoint and forces it to watch all those torturous memories on repeat. All I do is sit there catatonic, eyes glazed over, all the tears I had in me spent long ago. I have no desire or motivation to even start on any of my responsibilities or stay on task. Misery is what I've come to expect from this life. The very thought of my abusers even continuing to breathe makes me want to But it doesn't make a damn bit of difference because no one's ever come along to heal me and give me reason to feel better, and I'm powerless in perpetrating vengeance against my abusers, and any effort that I've ever made on my end toward a better life has proven completely fruitless.