The other night at my appointment, my pdoc decided to take me off of lithium because I'm now experiencing primarily depression. She's keeping me on lamictal. She does seem to believe I'm not bipolar, only borderline, and I'm not sure whether to be happy or confused because of course I'd love to be on as little medication as possible but I'm also worried at the return of my cycling because I still believe I have been hypomanic many times in the past. I do miss the hypomania a lot to be honest...but I realize it was the only thing I looked forward to. Whether it was true hypomania or not, one thing is certain: those periods of intensely elevated mood stopped happening only after being on lithium for a few months. I don't think lamictal does anything for mania, so I guess if I really am bipolar, I should expect to get hypomanic again shortly after stopping lithium.

I haven't been active here lately because I'm still trapped in this awful depression. I've found it hard to do much of anything.