yesterday was too much, it was all rough and ****ed up. The fact I had to put my dog down today, and how hard that's been and I did get a gf mind you for only 5 days. She was nice, but dumped me because she isn't ready for a relationship.

I don't want to be alive, everyone abandons me. I look at myself and want to destroy what I see, because I hate me, I hate my body my feelings everything about me. Every person whose came in my life has destroyed it who say they mean well.

Every single female. I'm a problem to you yeah maybe I should kill myself, because I'm a useless thirsty guy. My body defines my whole demeanor and life and I'm scum because of it when I didn't do anything.

The fact I can't cry having my dog comfort me is killing me right now.

My therapist is **** and ignores me and I got nobody. I'm grieving so badly and I got no one.