I think this goes back to my dad not wanting children.. Not wanting me. I know it says everything about him and nothing about me, but I can't feel it! I keep blaming myself for not being what he wanted me to be.. But I never could have been. He didn't want kids. Therefore he all and all didn't want me. There's nothing I could have done to change that because there's no way I could have stopped being a child!

Whatever it is he hates in children - their neediness I guess.. Because he can't face his own neediness.. I don't really care. Just felt I needed to share this.. Thanks for reading