I hate my job, and I've hated every job I've had before it, I'm 20 years old and this whole finding a career and going to school just stresses me the hell out. Having severe social anxiety doesn't help my job situation out either, every job I go to, I'm always getting chewed out for doing s*** wrong, so I second guess every decision I make just to not get yelled at, every job I go to the work is mundane, boring, and stressful. I don't even care really about how much it pays right now. $10-$11 is fine with me, and I always have to end up working more than I want to and I don't really get to choose my schedule either, 25-30 hours a week would be ideal to just get me through school, and that's a whole other story, I have no idea what my "passion" is, or what I love to do. How am I supposed to know that s***? I'm 20 f***ing years old and Im supposed to have the answers to all these big life questions? Not to mention that I'll go thousands of dollars in debt for a degree I have no interest in. My personal life is awful too, I'm painfully, miserably alone, everybody my age has either a significant other or someone they have sex with on a regular basis. Some people do it without even trying, they just go to a party in college, get drunk, high, and f***ed up, then sleep with some sorority girl who I can only dream of liking me, let alone sleeping with me. And it's not like I'm good looking either, I'm 6'0" tall and like 275 lbs, granted, I have some muscle, but most of it is fat and I've got stretch marks evertwhere and acne scars on my chest and shoulders when I was a teenager, I just always feel like the deck is stacked against me, I Don't know if I'll ever be happy, plus everyone says that women are the less shallow gender, but I'm not buying it. Every time I hear college aged girls talking, it's all about who f***ed who, how f***edd up that got at the party last night, who's the best looking, who has the biggest d***, etc. It's like, if your not this big bad alpha male douchebag, who's extremely masculine and have a huge d*** then you're seen as worthless and unlovable, and I watch too much porn, and I should probably stop let that messing with my head, but it doesn't really seem people are any less shallow in the real world when it comes to who is attractive/valuable and who isnt. I just feel worthless basically because I'm not attractive in the eyes of most people, so it makes me feel like my ent ire worth as a human is based on my appearance and that I'll never be good enough, and I guess that's a big reason for my social anxiety/insecurity but I just can't get over the fact that it seems like if you're not beautiful physically, you can't have a happy life/career/relationships.