Hi d.o.a.

I'd say...........I know (!!)..........that you are the much better person in this, and it's you who has the absolute right to be disappointed in him, NOT the other way around
And not being what he wanted you to be...........well he wasn't what you wanted him to be much moreso..........a loving, caring father............
The blame...........well he was to blame for not being good enough..........not you

But now...........let's see it as his loss, because regardless of what he wanted you to be..........you are going to be what other (more worthy) people are going to want you to be, just by being you.
And I, for one, appreciate and value you for who you are

Alison