Hello d.o.a.: Well... I'll tell you that I did destroy my life (along with the lives of several other people as well...) & I am pretty-much a total recluse, & it is too late to start over. So I am where you don't want to go. I've now aged into retirement. (Haven't been employed for probably 15 years.) Occasionally I imagine that there is still something I could do. But, realistically, what would it be? And besides, when it comes right down to it, there's nothing I really want to do.

Despite all of that, I don't believe it's ever too late if you really want to make a fresh start. Yes, there will be obstacles. But, as the saying goes, the longest journey begins with a single step. What's important here, I think, is first to not overthink this. Assume you can do it. Then don't focus too much on the big picture or your ultimate goal. Just make a start. Take it one step at a time. And after a while I believe you'll look back, smile to yourself, & say: "Wow... look how far I've come!"

P.S. Perhaps one tiny thing you could do to start with is to change your user name here on PC. You're not dead yet!