Hello MotherofThree:

This is what I see going on...

First of all, there's your daughter. Something is going on in her life and we could call it "this" or we could call it "that" but it all adds up to a heavy plate for a 10 year old.

Then, there's you. You have two other children to care for, a home, you may have a marriage you have to tend, possibly a job (or even two), co-workers, bills, probably some aging parents, and on top of that... a ten year old daughter who's not doing well. It's easy to see why you're stressed out.

Now, I'm going to return to your daughter. Just a couple things I noticed...

... She has isolated herself and has no friends as "Everybody is talking about me".

... with her psychiatrists help we have made everyone at school aware of her illness.

I think if I was 10 and everyone at school was aware of my illness, I'd feel like everyone was talking about me too. I'm certain you can identify with this, after all, you're a grown-up and you found it painful and hurtful to consider that other people might be talking about you too. What I'm wondering is, who does your daughter have on her side -- "Rob" perhaps?

It may be helpful for you to know that Between 70 and 90 cent of people who hear voices do so following traumatic events." What I'm also wondering is what was going on in your daughter's life before all this started?

You note that some untrue things have been said. I'm going to assume that they hinted at some form of abuse occurring in the home. No doubt, you love your daughter very much and this is why you found such statements to be hurtful. But that doesn't mean that she might not be feeling abused or even have been abused. Sometimes, the language of those who have been traumatized comes out in a distorted state. Again, this goes back to what may have been going on in her life previous to all this beginning. Environment can make people crazy and that doesn't mean just one's home life but rather, their entire environment -- friends, family, school, etc.

Something else you mentioned was that your daughter was on three different kinds of drugs. You need to educate yourself as to the full range of those drugs because some of them can produce hallucinations and delusions, particularly once you start mixing them up. You also need to understand that very few studies have been done on psychiatric medications and children -- for all intensive purposes, your daughter is a guinea pig for the pharmaceutical industry. There is no means possible of assuring you that these drugs will not have a negative effect upon her developing body, including her brain, because no one really knows.

You also noted that you were hesitant to appear to be a know-it-all mother. Let me remind you that psychiatrists are not gods, they are humans and like all the rest of the humans out there, some of them are very good, some of them are downright horrible, and all of them are fallible. You need to become a know-it-all mother because no one is going to love your kid like you love her -- not even a psychiatrist with a string of letters behind his or her name.

Overall, my suggestions -- which you can take or leave as you see fit -- are...

1.) Educate yourself. It's very tempting to believe that someone else has the answers -- the psychiatrist, the doctor, the pills, the hospital. If someone else has the answers that lets us off the hook for discovering them for ourselves.

2.) Examine your daughter's life, as much as possible from her perspective. Psychosis nearly always contains a triggering incident.

3.) If at all possible, remove her from her school environment where she is very likely exposed to shame and humiliation on a continual daily basis. Options might include home-schooling, enrolling her in a small, private school, or even, just letting her stay home. She's ill and troubled and the school environment might not be helping at this time. If possible, there might even be someone within your extended family who could take her in, if only through the day.

4.) Find her an advocate, someone who can be on her side and understand her life from her perspective. Recognize that you may not be capable of providing this to her even if, as her mother, you feel you should. Recognize also that a relationship with a psychiatrist is also not likely to provide this to her. As a general rule, most psychiatrists in this culture dispense pills. They do not engage in talk therapy. I suggest you get her in to see someone who will talk to and with her -- someone who goes by the label of "psychologist, therapist" or "counsellor".

She has never been hospitalized yet and I am wondering when do we hit rock bottom to admit her ourselves.

And what then? How will your life or hers be any better if you put her into the hospital?