I'm so angry. I can't relax, I want to scream & rip at my skin one second, the next I'm so angry that I have to suffer this I want to make someone suffer, having homicidial ideation again. I kno how bad that sounds but hey it's the truth, obviously I've never actually physically attacked anyone & wont. I woke up this way, bored out of my brain the second I woke up. There is too much day to fill & nothing interests or satisfies me. Not as anxious today, that fearful anxiety has blossomed into rage. My boyfriend runs with his tail between his legs. APs not working at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not smoking marijuana to help anymore because that poison is only making me worse. I have nothing to soothe me. I am incapable of self soothing.