Hey everybody, I am in the process of finding myself a therapist but trying to read as much as possible about Asperger's since I've been told it could be the answer to what is wrong with me.

I seem to fit the diagnostic criteria, at least for the most part but because I come from a background of childhood abuse and mental illnesses, it's difficult to say whether I have Asperger's or some form of complex trauma mixed with social anxiety.

I once read that the difference between Asperger's and Social Anxiety is that the person with anxiety knows how to make small talk and connect with others but is too scared to, while the person with Asperger's does not know what to do in a social situation. I feel like it's a little bit of both for me, so IDK.

I do have a limited amount of interests that I've become a bit of an 'expert' on because I invest a lot of time on them. I do not like fiction, not even to relax for bed with a book, all I like is non-fiction, usually science related literature. Basically data, studies. I tend to speak literally and have trouble noticing sarcasm even though I do very well at school on an academic level. When I was younger I was extremely naive, like I had no malice at all. I was like an emotional 5 year old in a 19 year old's body, and would really suffer because of it (people tend to prey on you). I know that's all typical of Asperger's.

I don't like looking at people in the eye, it makes me very uncomfortable but I'm unsure whether it reflects Asperger's or just a fear of people for some psychological/trauma reason.

When I was younger I wanted to be popular even though I had this feeling that I was not normal, not like the others. I was into heavy metal and worked out a whole lot, so I started to meet people who mostly liked me because of the way I looked (if I had had to win them over with my personality I'm pretty sure we'd never have dated). People were often surprised to find out I was a great student because given my social performance and mannerisms I didn't seem very bright lol.

My parents are pretty much convinced that what I have is Asperger's and I can definitely see their point. Although I did live through a lot as a young child and I do have OCD, and GAD from an early age and I'm wondering if my presumed Asperger's could instead be a mixture of other conditions and traumatic events.

What do you folks think?