Keep thinking about SI and how it would make me feel better. I oppsied (new word?) last night. Had a fight with the razor, I lost.

Now I keep thinking about it. How much more damage I can do. Why not, does not matter anyway. But this nagging feeling of cutting so deep that any life left inside will drip away. Just let me wash away.

This is insane. My kids are in bed. I could not do such a damaging act that would be set in their minds for the rest of their precious lives. I won't do this. How do I stop myself from doing any of this at all. Its wanting to creep in my head and not quite get out. Foolish aren't I. Why can't one just turn this junk off and keep it off. GGGRRRR.

Justy