Quote:
Originally Posted by mizora
I have lost so many friends over the years, I feel like I care more about others then they do about me. I am so sorry, that is a pretty low blow. Have you told her how you feel? It sounds like she is trying to cut ties without saying it officially.
The older I get the easier it gets to let people know when I am not ok with how they are treating me. I have been finding a lot of closure and clarity to be able to say, "What you have done has really hurt me, I truly cared for you and I do not feel that you reciprocate those feelings. If you want to mend things the ball is in your quart, otherwise I am moving on."
I have done this so many times sadly. It never gets easy but at least I feel like I have some sense of control by being the one to say I am moving on.
Hang in there! This certainly is a tough situation, sending thoughts your way!
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Thanks for your reply. I think we're in the same boat - we care more deeply for others than they care for us. It's a tough position to be in.
I'm not sure if she's trying to cut ties with me... or if I'm just not as important to her as she is to me. Case in point: I have about 40 friends on Facebook, and that includes several family members. She has over 800 friends on fb. So either she just adds EVERYONE she knows, or she has a much larger social circle than I do, or maybe both. She still 'likes' my pictures and some posts, and she even comments on some of my posts, and does reply to my comments on her posts. So it doesn't feel like she's trying to cut me out completely...
We had a chance to hang out briefly in the Summer when Bernie Sanders came to town (we attended his rally together, which was fun, and I thought we both had a good time.)
The place she got married is a pretty small venue, and with 3 kids under 6 in the household I can understand if finances are tight and she didn't have the money to have a big, lavish wedding with lots of guests. I just wish she would have told me that, rather than just not sending me an invite and let me see all the fun pics / friends posts congratulating her online.
Right now I'm operating under the assumption that she didn't invite me because the guest list was small due to the small venue/lack of funds. So I'm just dealing with the pain of realizing I'm not as important to her as she is to me. But I haven't talked to her about it at all. She's on her honeymoon right now, and the last thing I want to do is bother her while she's off celebrating.
So I'm thinking it's just this sad situation where she's one of my best friends, but I'm only an acquaintance to her. It just sucks to be sad, so thanks for listening to my story and sending hugs. That really does help.