Fighting,

This is my only safe place online. I don't visit often but when I do I think that I'm best known for my prodigious posts. This will not be one of them.

I only want to say a few things but I'll not offer any advice. You can think of this as your safe place, too. We're all crazy here so no one is going to be shocked at anything you'd like to say. I think that it's safe to say that all of us here have bad and better days (I can't say in truth that I have "good" days). Don't worry if you don't receive a reply – frankly, I don't know where the thousands of messages per day end up. I'll read 6-7 messages in the same forums and call it quits. Others will post thousands of messages in a variety of forums over a two month period.

I don't know how many people are here... it seems that there are 75-100 new members over each 24 hour period.

I'm in a pretty loopy/bleh place myself today. I know that I'm having a worse than bad day when my hallucinations are constant and I don't get out of bed. A really depressing day. I want to assemble a personal mental health dictionary so that I can escape the repetition of the words and phrases that we all use to describe our feelings. Even those of us who have no intention of self-harm will write, "I just can't take this any longer." But we do. There needs to be a better way to express reaching the edge of the abyss without indicated that you're ready to leap in.

Feel welcome to come back at any time, even if only to vent. I'm 57 years old and it's only in the past year or so that I've felt anger, so I do a lot of venting these days.