you can give hugs. maybe i will go see him to tell him i dont think i should come back the only little thing that worries me is if he is like the others say which i think he is then he might be mad and then do bad stuff to me so that i cant get away that scares me so maybe i should just disappear but then he may call someone this is a problem. and i actually feel like my thinking has been more clear the last few days like i can see the real everything but also weirdly detached it is hard to explain.