Thank you missbella. It does feel that he doesn't know how see this from my perspective rather than that of a therapist. You've just reminded me that he did say something like "that might be based on my false assumptions" at one point. In all honesty I think he is trying to understand, and he is a really good therapist, so I don't for one second think we can't work through this, but I know he's struggling to understand it right now.
The truth is, I have received more understanding about what I've gone through as a client from members of this forum than anywhere else. It's like people (outside this forum) are scared of confronting the depth of pain a therapeutic relationship can cause. Part of me wonders if T is a little scared of confronting the impact a therapist can truly have on a client, and face up to the fact it can be as emotionally scarring as a bad family relationship. I imagine that's a difficult truth for someone who deals with clients day in day out.
I'm sorry to hear you had such a series of bad experiences in therapy; I do take great solace in the fact my therapist is at least trying to get it, though we still have a long way to go.