Quote:
Originally Posted by Wandering Soul
I'm not a big fan of the term "alpha male", because it implies there are "beta males". I'm not sure if those exist in humans. Males are different, that's all. Some are better at things, like approaching women, while others may be better at other things, like sustaining a relationship.
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Like it or not, alpha is a fact, in all of the animal world, including the human world. In some species the female is alpha, as with horses. In certain human cultures the male is alpha, but in other cultures the female is alpha. Of course if there is alpha there is beta. It is just a fact. You are the one putting a value judgement on it. I never said an alpha male was "better" than a "beta" male, but if a male is loud and even overbearing he may get more attention from the ladies. This has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the alpha male has the ability to sustain a relationship. To say that the alpha male is good at attracting women but bad at sustaining a relationship is a value judgement I would not make. I said that alpha males are wearing because they are very energetic, and are constantly pursuing goals and they expect everyone to keep up with them. As partners they can be very exciting and inspiring.
When I was in graduate school I used to count how many times the males in class spoke or were called on to speak, as opposed to the females. It turned out that on average the males spoke three times as much as the females! It was infuriating. But simply fact. I asked other females why they didn't speak out. They said they had things to say but often the men would speak first. The women were not being rewarded for being more thoughtful and reticent. I do not know where you are and what the culture is. There are some cultures where making direct eye contact is rude, such as with Native Americans. I have had Native American friends. The way to communicate with them is for both people to look towards the horizon.
If you are in a modern western culture a woman may wait for you to make eye contact with her before opening a conversation. But not always. Woman are becoming more assertive.
There may be subconscious factors at play, as well. Men of all ages have always communicated with me so I have never had a dilemma of approaching a man. It may be that my body language somehow unconsciously sends the message I am approachable. I was raised with a bunch of very extroverted brothers and so grew up very comfortable around males.