Stability may seem like a natural gift to most neurotypical people, but for us, it's something fleeting. Something sought after. It feels cruel to have been robbed of something so basic to most of the population. I struggle with motivation too. I've found a way that can somewhat combat it. Just do the opposite of what you want to do. If you have even the slightest idea in mind, say, watching a TV show you've wanted to get around to doing, don't hesitate to do it. Even if you don't particularly enjoy it or find your mind wandering because you just can't stay focused, at least you will have been able to say that you accomplished something. Yes, I'd consider it to be an accomplishment because you've just battled against something that has been eating you up from the inside: something that's been trying to suck the life out of you and preventing you from doing what you want to do. It doesn't have to be anything grand. I hope my advice helped if even a little and I hope that you start to feel better soon.
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Do at least one thing you enjoy each day.
Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits
Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed
"Now I can see all the colors that you see."
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