Dear T,

I don't want to come to session tonight. I want to call in sick because I don't want to leave the house. I'm starting to slide down the rabbit hole again and I'm tired of hearing myself say it. Again. It's been such a long year of fighting to feel better. I don't know what's worse, to feel hopeful when I do have good weeks or just to feel awful all the time? Hope. It's an ugly word today.

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