It's really hard to explain, and unfortunately a sidebar to this thread, but what I describe in shorthand - despite the questionable terminology - truly is the case.

I've spent 15 years and much money on her coaching, classes, therapy, etc. At the end of the day, my wife will not break from her family who ACTIVELY discourage her from college, jobs, and even home ownership.

I'm just a random guy posting on a forum. I know it's hard to believe this, but it is true. I married her without the slightest stereotypes but I have had to learn the hard way about this dysfunctional mindset. Very sad. She is a sweet person who has been stunted by her background and will not separate from it.